So I've been thinking how annoying technology is. I wish things were old fashioned, you know, when people took the time to write each other letters? I feel like it is really hard to get to know someone through say, Facebook messaging or texting. Emotions are not there to read. Tone of voice, mood, being able to read what someone's eyes are telling you. None of that is there. While old-fashioned writing by hand takes time. This world we are in is so impatient. We want fast responses, no delay... Yet, part of the beauty of letter writing is you can think of thoughtful responses. I suppose I imagine this air of 'magic' about letter writing. So, I often do it ... or often as I can, it's time consuming so you have to think rather highly of the person you are writing to ... to want to take the time to write them.
So, here is the question. Why am I writing to you? Well, in a way, we've only recently become friends, but you've really encouraged me during that short time. I feel that I owe you a letter, haha. Sometimes I get so sick of these modern day forms of communication. They are so 'formal' in that there seems to be no expression. Sometimes, I find myself texting people back and not even remembering what I wrote. Lah-may! So this dorky little letter is to express my friendly gratitude for speaking God's truth into my life. You have gotten to know me, probably at a time in my life when I am experiencing more trails, change, and turmoil then I ever have in my 21 years. I realize to some people, these struggles are nothing, but I'm telling you ... to me, it's like I'm the food and God has just sent me through the spaghetti strainer, cheese grater, followed by a meat grinder all in one shot. Yet, though I am so fearful, my prayer is that God is using this time to completely transform me. In 'The Lord of the Rings' terms, if I were Gandalf I feel like I'm facing my Balrog ... praying, that at the end of this I will no longer be Gandalf the Grey. At the end of this, I hope instead to arise like Gandalf the White ... clothed in the righteousness of a mighty and holy God. I'm doing my best to continually yield my anxieties, fears, insecurities, anger, doubts, temptations, and sins all to Christ My future hopes and dreams I'm surrendering at the throne of the one true King. IT IS SO HARD! So frightening to know I am giving Him everything ... Who knows what he may or may not ask me to do ... Yet, I am so sure that this is what God is calling me to do. God is calling me to lay it all down, holding nothing back ... I know it's not a one time thing. It is a daily almost 'by-the-second' action I must take. Despite all that, I have this momentary sense of freedom.
The knowledge that despite my fearful, terror-filled heart, my life is in the hands of a great, majestic and faithful God. I need to be reminded constantly that this is my great comfort.
Don't give up on me yet, Lord.
Your friend, Sarai"