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To Hurt Me

12/5/2013

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So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
 I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 
Isaiah 41:10
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Of the many things I should be doing right now… blogging is not one of them. It’s the night before my first day of senior final examinations at university. I had every intention of completing my study time, then getting ready for bed and getting a good night sleep. When all of the sudden, while I was getting ready for bed I had a vision!

No, no, not really…at least not in the images flashing before my eyes type of vision.

I did however get a thought from God. I was preparing for bed and thinking about in the beginning of the semester. Early on in this semester I was cast as Elizabeth Proctor from Arthur Miller’s play, “The Crucible”, for a friend currently taking a directing class. The role was one of the absolute highlights of my semester. I learned and grew so much as an actress. It was such a fun and challenging role, unlike any I had ever portrayed. Tonight, as I was recalling the experience, I was taken back to one of our early rehearsals. In scene one in Act II, John Proctor and his wife Elizabeth get into a very heated and emotional quarrel one evening. John becomes so angry that he lashes out at Elizabeth. In the scene, our director had chosen for the actor playing John, my good friend Seth, to grab Elizabeth (me) by the arm, shake her, and shout in her face. I had never played such a highly intense, emotional scene before.

During our first rehearsals I had a lot of trouble getting into character for that scene. Our director, Jessica, would say, “Sarah, it looks like your just letting his words and anger roll off you. I want to see some fear on Elizabeth’s part.” I tried, but ended up getting really frustrated at one point because mentally could not seem to tap into any sort of fear for the scene. Seth would have me aggressively by the arm, be shouting angrily in my face, but I was unable to summon up a panicked fear. I couldn't understand why.

“What is so hard for you to connect with?” Jessica asked me after one take.

“I don’t know,” I replied. “It’s Seth; I know Seth would never do anything to hurt me.” There was my answer. I trusted Seth… and even when he was acting angry, even physically lashing out at me, I felt safe. I knew he would never hurt me.

Recalling this made me wonder about all the times I DO NOT think the same of God. When tragedy strikes in my life, how quick I am to think… “God hates me!”… “God’s angry and now He’s punishing me!”… How easy it is for me to assume God is out to get me. That He is this big, hateful, angry God who wants to make me suffer as much as possible. WHAT?  That’s NOT biblical.

This God I speak of is the same God who sent his only perfect, beloved Son to die a horrible criminal’s death so that I could be saved. God rescued me. He preserved my life, even when I was a lost and evil sinner. Not only that, but this same God has blessed me in countless ways during my lifetime. It makes no sense that it should be so hard for me to trust that God isn’t trying to hurt me. He cares for you and me. He loves us. In our refusal to trust God, we force ourselves to live in a state of fear that is completely and totally unnecessary.

Just as my thought was that my friend Seth would never do anything to hurt me… It is my hope that I will change my attitude to realize that even when difficult times come, when I suffer, I know God still loves me and is still looking out for me.

"But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one." 

2 Thessalonians 3:3 


Don’t get me wrong though. Does God discipline us? Yes. Does He allow us to go through difficult and painful times? Yes. BUT He does it all for our benefit. When we realize and LIVE with the knowledge and comfort that God is constantly looking out for us, protecting us, guiding us… SAVING us. Maybe then instead of immediately turning away from Him in fear when bad things happen, we will turn to Him for His comforting fulfillment, gentle hope, and all sufficient love.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

Jeremiah 29:11


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Stop Caring What Other People Think

11/10/2013

3 Comments

 
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"It was none the less a fact, however, that, in the eyes of the very men who spoke thus, the scarlet letter had the effect of the cross on a nun's bosom."
- Nathaniel Hawthorne "The Scarlet Letter"
  • How much time do you spend wondering what other people are thinking about you?
  • Worrying over what they are saying about you?
  • How many times a day are completely and totally conscious of people looking at you and you are desperate to know what is going through their mind?
I have yet to meet a person who enjoys being talked about, especially by those they considered their friends. People we counted on. But this world is fallen and human, so it happens. Christians, I have a challenge for you. I have a challenge for me. 

STOP CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK.

Easier said than done I know. Listen to this though... worrying about what other people think does nothing, other than bring about pain and agony onto your own conscious. Let it go. Do not spend time agonizing over what he or she is saying or thinking about you.

When people you care about are involved, there is a danger when "we begin to demonize those we used to idolize when they let us down" (Pastor Derwin Grey). Do not put yourself in a place where wondering about what other people think influences how you think.  People are human and therefore, flawed. Gossip and slander are rampant in a world full of fear, insecurity, and low self-worth. People are going to say and think hurtful things about you. Some of it may be true. Some of it may be lies. People you trust will listen, think, and react to you in ways that are heartbreaking and shocking. Do  not drag yourself deeper into the pain of it.

LISTEN FRIENDS,
JESUS DID NOT DIE FOR WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OR SAY.
 


He died for you, because you are a screwed up sinner who is beautifully and wonderfully made. 


Psalm 139:13-16
"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them"


No matter what people say or perceive  it doesn't change the fact that Jesus loves you. He wants to be with you. He forgives you. 

Romans 8:1 
"Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

More than anything Jesus wants you to come and rest in Him. Throw away the burden of hurt and pain that comes from the actions of depraved mankind. The world can take away the value of your name; they can slander your personality, judge your actions, question your intentions, and take away everything this world has to offer from you. And they may be correct in some of their thoughts. YET, none of that matters. Mankind CANNOT take away the fact that Jesus died on the cross so that YOU may live eternally with Him. Find comfort in that although we fail, He continues to love. 

We all mess up. We make bad decisions. We fail. We sin. We hurt those we wish we hadn't. We often unknowingly cause people to lose their good opinion of us. I do that. Sometimes we do our EVERYTHING IN OUR POWER to be kind and loving and our fellow man responds by turning against us.

On this earth, I am labeled, with two big letter S's on my soul. I'm walk around this earth, branded first with red and fiery letter S that EVERYONE can see. That S stands for SINNER, judged and condemned to spend eternity in Hell separated from a perfect and holy God (Romans 3:23). That S is the letter, the label, the world sees. It is constantly the letter I am reminded of when I continually fall short of both earthly and heavenly standards. I think though, that I should not try and hide it away, acting as though I have it all together  in hopes of being liked by the people around me. My state as a Sinner is revealed whether I want it to be or not. My letter S is prominent, and there is a pain comes when Christians and non-Christians alike reject me because I am a sinner. In truth, we all wear this S.
I'm not proud of my S, but I cannot change its prominence in my life. I cannot change that people will see that S come out in how I live my life. I do not rejoice in the fact that the world hates me for this S. I hate me for this S. Yet, what I must remember is that this fiery S is what allows me to be eligible for a second S.

The second S I bear is SAVED. Because I am a sinner, because I cannot save myself is what makes me eligible to have a SAVIOR. My label as a sinner is what permits me to have hope and lay claim in my Savior. The world will see the darkness in you, unless you allow Jesus to become your light. It will be difficult. The world will abandon you. The world will hate you all the more. Friends will disappoint you, hurt you, leave you. Yet, nothing any presence on earth or in Hell can do will ever take away the fact that you and I have a GREAT SAVIOR. A great Savior who lived a perfect life, died a horrible criminal's death in our place, and rose again from the dead so that you and I may have eternal life (John 3:16). Jesus's love, his life, death, and resurrection all came about so that our S of SINNER can be outshined by an S that reads SAVED. When his love becomes our love, then we can move into a deeper relationship with Him. That deeper relationship can lead us to touch the lives of other through His goodness.

Stop Caring What Other People Think.

You are SAVED. Make right what you have to make right, apologize, pray for those who hate you, love those who are hard to love, and always remember nothing anyone thinks or says can take away the fact that you have a gracious, merciful  mighty, holy, and wonderful Lord and Savior. He knows YOU. He loves YOU. Then, forgive as Christ forgave and let it go. Jesus wants nothing more than for you to get down on your knees and call out his name. Let go of the hurt and anger that comes from what people, both Christian and non-Christian, think about you, and embrace the rescuing goodness of a perfect Savior who loves you through it all.

Jeremiah 1:7-8
"But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, declares the Lord."

My memory is nearly gone;
but I remember two things;
That I am a great sinner, and
that Christ is a great Saviour.


John Newton (1725-1807)

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