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Book Review: Desire of My Heart

12/31/2020

3 Comments

 
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“You saw me through the desert more than once, Lord.”
— Desire of My Heart by Heidi Gray McGill
It will come as no surprise to those who know me to learn that my favorite genre of novel has always been historical fiction. Simply put, it is the only form of time travel available to date, so I seek to do it as often as I am able.
I was honored when author Heidi Gray McGill reached out and invited me to read and review her debut novel titled Desire of My Heart. This novel is the first in McGill’s Discerning God’s Best Series and was released November 9, 2020.
The blurb reads:
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Visit Heidi Gray McGill on
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​All Rachel has ever wanted is a family. How could God grant her the desire of her heart, then do nothing to prevent it being taken away? Can she wait for God’s perfect timing, or will she take matters into her own hands…again?
 
About to age out of a Missouri orphanage in 1858, shy Rachel listens with terror as the orphanage matron tells her she’s practically auctioning her off to the highest bidder for her hand in marriage. Rachel prays, asking God to help her and her younger brother Charlie escape, but how?
 
When God provides what Rachel believes to be her liberator, the seed of an idea sets in motion an adventure that will bring happiness and heartbreak, and nearly cost Rachel her health. When trouble comes, it comes in a big way and those who care for Rachel wonder if she will ever recover. Rachel and Charlie face danger and sorrow, see new territory, and grow in their faith. They just might even find the desire of their hearts and realize God had bigger plans than they ever imagined.
​Desire of My Heart’s messages of loss and hope, loneliness and love, and finally trial and triumph feel fitting amidst the chaos of 2020. Personally, I felt deep understanding of Rachel’s despair after a devastating loss. Rachel believed that she had been obedient and done what the Lord asked of her. When that comfort and assurance was suddenly taken away, she feels completely abandoned. I think there are many that share understanding in these feelings.
This novel attests to McGill’s passion for people and scripture. The novel is filled with a collection of memorable characters. There is Paddy and Aideen O’Sullivan, an older couple who carry secrets of Rachel’s past. Rachel and Charlie’s only neighbor on the frontier, Pete Manning, is a man of mystery. Lawmen Sheriff Henry Adkins and US Marshall Clint Shankel quickly find their lives becoming intertwined with Rachel’s.  In addition, local townspeople including a wise and caring widow named Serafina Brooks, her niece Martha, Reverend Jenkins, and more join together to become family to this young girl who feels so alone in the world. In the wilderness of Missouri, Rachel discovers God’s love, family, faithfulness, and many a blessed surprise. 
You can learn more about McGill and her writing at: https://heidimcgill822089357.wordpress.com/
“She had been friends with God long enough to know whatever He had to say was worth waiting for.”
— Desire of My Heart by Heidi Gray McGill
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3 Comments

My Favorite Things: 2020 Edition

12/11/2020

2 Comments

 
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Anyone who has been friends with me for a long time, knows that I adore sharing things I like/enjoy (am obsessed with) with others. From books and TV shows to favorite apps and food! I can't stop talking about things that bring me joy with others.  
I never really saw or watched talk shows growing up, but I recall the big mentions of gifted items off the Oprah's Favorite Things list every year. After writing the "Recapping My 2020" blog, I was able to get some perspective on some really amazing blessings that came into my life this year. With the hopes of running further with that trend, I decided to share some of my "best" and "favorite" items that I discovered this year.  These things were not necessarily released/created in 2020, but instead I discovered or used them for the first time in 2020. They brought me joy in the craziness of this season.

BOOKS

I didn't read nearly as much as I hoped to this year. I'm a big reader, but amidst all that I had going on I found it difficult to push through and finish every book I started. However, the three books listed below were ones I impacted my thought process in a big way. They are 100% on my recommendations list for any and everyone!
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TITLE: The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery
AUTHOR: Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile
GENRE: Christian Psychology

DESCRIPTION: What you don't know about yourself can hurt you and your relationships―and even keep you in the shallows with God. Do you want help figuring out who you are and why you're stuck in the same ruts? The Enneagram is an ancient personality typing system with an uncanny accuracy in describing how human beings are wired, both positively and negatively.
TITLE: The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships
AUTHOR: Suzanne Stabile
GENRE: Christian Psychology
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DESCRIPTION: Most of us have no idea how others see or process their experiences. And that can make relationships hard, whether with intimate partners, with friends, or in our professional lives. Understanding the motivations and dynamics of these different personality types can be the key that unlocks sometimes mystifying behavior in others—and in ourselves. This book from Suzanne Stabile on the nine Enneagram types and how they behave and experience relationships will guide readers into deeper insights about themselves, their types, and others' personalities so that they can have healthier, more life-giving relationships.
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TITLE: Tidewater
AUTHOR: Libbie Hawker
GENRE: Historical Fiction

DESCRIPTION:
To Pocahontas and her people, the Tidewater is the rightful home of the Powhatan tribe. To England, it is Virginia Territory, fertile with promise, rich with silver and gold. As Jamestown struggles to take root, John Smith knows that the only hope for survival lies with the Powhatan people. He knows, too, that they would rather see the English starve than yield their homeland to invaders. In the midst of this conflict, Pocahontas, the daughter of the great chief, forges an unlikely friendship with Smith. Their bond preserves a wary peace—but control can rest only in one nation’s hands. 
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If you are ever interested in following yearly my reading endeavors, you are always welcome to check out and interact with me on my Goodreads page HERE!

FILMS

I'm a film addict and I watched A LOT of great movies this year. "The Aeronauts", while not entirely historically accurate, was extremely well acted and the cinematography took my breath away. The documentary "My Brother Jordan" is a passion project from a NGU alumni that I have followed since early 2017.  It is an inspirational and honest portrait of a brother's love and I cannot recommend it enough!

​TITLE: The Aeronauts
GENRE: Historical Fiction
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SYNOPSIS: In 1862, pioneering meteorologist James Glaisher (Eddie Redmayne) teams up with daredevil balloon pilot Amelia Rennes (Felicity Jones) to advance human knowledge of the weather and fly higher than anyone in history. While their voyage to the very edge of existence helps the unlikely pair find their place in the world, they face physical and emotional challenges in the thin air, as the ascent becomes a fight for survival.
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TITLE: My Brother Jordan
​GENRE: Documentary
WRITTEN and DIRECTED by Justin Robinson
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DESCRIPTION: Four years after Jordan's death, Justin set out on an 8 year journey to bring his brother's story to life. With the help of 102 interviews and 300+ home videotapes, equaling 450+ hours of footage, "My Brother Jordan" chronicles Jordan's life and death and paints the bond of brotherhood between Jordan and Justin Robinson.

Watch on YouTube HERE

TELEVISION SHOWS

In the same vein as film, I ADORE a great story brought to life in a great TV series. 
TITLE: Agent Carter
GENRE: Crime, Historical Fiction (Sci-Fi elements)
Available on Disney+
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DESCRIPTION: Marvel's Agent Carter continues the story of Peggy Carter. It's 1946, and peace has dealt Peggy Carter a serious blow as she finds herself marginalized when the men return home from fighting abroad. Working for the covert SSR (Strategic Scientific Reserve), Peggy must balance doing administrative work and going on secret missions for Howard Stark all while trying to navigate life as a single woman in America.
"Agent Carter" has been on my to watch list for YEARS. I was thrilled to finally get a chance to reunite with Peggy Carter, a personal favorite character of mine. While I admit the second season fell short in terms of vision and storytelling, the spectacular first season is well worth the watch! ​
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TITLE: The Mandalorian
GENRE: Science Fiction/Action/Adventure
Available on Disney+

DESCRIPTION: After the stories of Jango and Boba Fett, another warrior emerges in the Star Wars universe. The Mandalorian is set after the fall of the Empire and before the emergence of the First Order. We follow the travails of a lone gunfighter in the outer reaches of the galaxy far from the authority of the New Republic.
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It is no secret that I consider myself a huge Star Wars fan, so I'll let "The Mandelorian"'s reviews and hype speak for itself. (Let's just say I love it) 
TITLE: Cobra Kai
GENRE: Action
Available on Netflix

DESCRIPTION: Decades after their 1984 All Valley Karate Tournament bout, a middle-aged Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Macchio) and Johnny Lawrence (William Zabka) find themselves martial-arts rivals again.​​

Lastly, I have been in love with Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Macchio) since I saw "The Karate Kid" as a pre-teen. Mr. Miyagi has been my dream mentor since I wrote a blog post regarding him in 2011. I was ecstatic to learn that "The Karate Kid" 's continuing  story, "Cobra Kai" had been picked up by Netflix. I can't wait for the next season!
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TITLE: TURN: Washington's Spies
GENRE: Historical Fiction
Available on Netflix

DESCRIPTION: This drama follows Long Island farmer Abe Woodhull, who bands together a group of childhood friends to form The Culper Ring, an unlikely group of spies who turn the tide in America's fight for independence.

"TURN" is another show that has been on my to-watch list for years. I decided to pick it up on a whim one afternoon and I can honestly say I haven't been hooked by a show this strongly since 2009. It deals with a number of adult themes, but I have been in love with the Revolutionary period of American history since I was a little girl. This show has unparalleled conflict, stakes, writing, performances, and brings the era and the historical figures to life in the most incredible way.

APPS

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APP: Nike Run Club
The Nike Run Club Gives you the guidance, inspiration and innovation you need to become a better athlete. Join us to reach your goals and have fun along the way.

This app revolutionized running for me!
APP: Marco Polo

Marco Polo combines the best of texting, calling and video chats - all in one private, easy to use app.

This app revolutionized maintaining long distance relationships for me!
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APP: Plant Nanny 2

Plant Nanny 2 helps you keep track of how much water you drink – each glass waters the app's plants so you both can thrive! 

This app revolutionized staying hydrated for me!

THEATRE (recorded)

2020, quarantine, and COVID19 has not been kind to the arts. Theatres, thespians, and performing arts teams around the world have struggled to adjust and adapt in the chaos of this year. Recorded live performances kept me and my family tied to the stage throughout 2020 (and helped us support our favorite theatres through the pandemic). I watched a lot of shows this year, but the two that had the greatest impact on me are Sight & Sound Theatre's "Jesus" and Logos Theatre's "A Peep Behind the Scenes". Both are still available to stream online! Please support the performing arts and watch!
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TITLE: Jesus
THEATRE: Sight & Sound Theatres (Strasburg, PA & Branson, MO)
WATCH: Sight & Sound TV

DESCRIPTION: From the bustling streets of Jerusalem to the raging Sea of Galilee, JESUS is an action-packed musical stage adventure for the whole family!
Join Peter, Nicodemus, Mary Magdalene, and a multitude of others as they journey alongside the most famous person ever to walk the earth. Witness the most miraculous events in history as Jesus sets sail with fishermen and makes disciples out of the least-expected. The lives he touches will never be the same.
Experience the greatest rescue story of all time as it comes to life on stage with massive sets, special effects and live animals in this original stage production.
TITLE: A Peep Behind the Scenes
THEATRE: The Logos Theatre (Taylors, SC)
WATCH: Virtual Logos Theatre

​DESCRIPTION: Based on the novel, A Peep Behind the Scenes, which sold over 2.5 million copies upon its release in 1877, this beautiful human story follows the life of Norah, a woman living the seemingly charmed life of a singer and actress on the stage. But as we get a glimpse behind the scenes, we come to realize that things are not always as they seem. 
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PODCASTS

I would argue that podcasts are my greatest discovery of 2020. Prior to this year I have never listened to a single podcast in my life. The shows listed below (including the one that is pure self-promotion) brought me such great joy and comfort this year. From Biblical exegesis to analyzing all your favorite classic Disney films, podcasts kept my brain engaged and distracted in a healthy way during a mentally exhausting year! 
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TITLE: BEMA Discipleship with Marty Solomon
GENRE: Biblical Study & Discipleship

DESCRIPTION: The BEMA Podcast is a walk-through of the context of the Bible and the Text itself, as well as surrounding history.
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TITLE: Before They Were Live
​GENRE: Entertainment

DESCRIPTION: Welcome to Before They Were Live, an ongoing and monthly conversation where Michial Farmer and Joshua Altmanshofer are scavenging our way through the Disney animated canon. Playing our part in a healthy ecosystem between art and criticism and fandom. Always eagerly adding to our collection any snafblat or dinglehopper we can find anything to help us better understand how these films shape our imaginations.
Hopefully along the way we enrich the viewing experience and have some fun too.
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TITLE: Not A Lady: A Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman Podcast
GENRE: Entertainment
WEBSITE: www.notaladypodcast.weebly.com
 
DESCRIPTION: A history buff and a medical student take a positive, analytical look at every single episode of CBS's 1990s Western, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman (starring Jane Seymour). The sisters discuss not only the plot of each episode (spoiler-free for future episodes), but also dig deeper into the historical, cultural, moral, and medical presentation one episode at a time. Whether you're a long time Dr. Quinn fan or newly discovering this classic show, we're excited to journey to The New Frontier together!

MUSIC

These aren't the only albums I listened to this year, but according to my iTunes account they are the most played in 2020. I cried over at least one song in each of these albums. That's probably more of a reflection of my emotions this year, but goes to show that music is one of the most powerful tools we have in the world! 
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"A Story of FILIO" ~ Florian Bur
​Genre: New Age Instrumental
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"Reprise EP" ~ Marcus Warner
Genre: ​Easy Listening Instrumental
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"Lydian" - Mason Bayne
Genre: Ambient
Read my blog about this album HERE
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"how i'm feeling" & "I met you when i was 18" - Lauv
Genre: Pop
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"Caldonia Cantata" ~ Dougie Maclean
Genre: Scottish Singer/Songwriter

My Favorite Things of 2020
​Final Thoughts

This blog is just another step in my quest to be thankful and find things that brought joy in a year of loss and sorrow. I invite you to ask me about any of the "things" mentioned in this blog or go and see for yourself why I love them so much. I also invite you to write me and tell me about YOUR favorite things of 2020. What are some of the little treasures that brought connection and comfort to your year? I'd love to hear about them! And who knows, maybe this will be the first of many yearly favorite things blogs. In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, Paul writes, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." Today I am thankful to God for all these little things He gave me in 2020. From films to apps to songs that met my thoughts and emotions where they were, I recognize His faithfulness and love.
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2 Comments

I'm Moving to FIJI

12/8/2020

23 Comments

 
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Suva, Fiji
Perhaps you’ve just come from the "Recapping My 2020" blog I just posted or you’ve skipped it and just want to read the big news. Here it is:

I am moving to Fiji in 2021!

I am thrilled to announce that I have accepted a Secondary Performing Arts and ELA teaching position with an international school in Suva, the capital of Fiji.
The school offers both an Australian Certificate and International Baccalaureate (IB) diploma to students. The school also runs on the Australia/New Zealand school calendar. This means the a new school year starts in January at the end of their summer holiday (Nov/Dec-Jan).
The school boasts around 600 students in K-12 from over 40 different nationalities and has been around since 1973. Some other differences from my last international school experience is that the school has uniforms and is nonsectarian.
​There will certainly be a lot of transition and learning when joining this school. From a brand new grading and academic system and school calendar, I will need to learn how to give myself grace and be patient as I adjust to much newness from both job and country!

Quick Facts about Fiji

Official Languages: Fijian, English, Fiji Hindi, Rotuman
Number of Islands: 332 islands (106 of which are inhabited)
Total Population: 884,887 (2017)
Capital: Suva, located on the southeast coast of Viti Levu (Fiji’s largest island).
Capital Population: 93,970 (2017)
Climate: Tropical Marine (warm weather year round with lots of rainfall)
Major Exports: Sugar, Fish, Mineral Water, Gold
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Fiji's geographic location
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The flag of Fiji

Why Fiji?

Let me start by saying I never once in my lifetime planned on moving to Fiji. In fact, believe it or not I had told my parents that I was planning on finding a job in a country closer to the US. Plot twist: Fiji is 7500 miles (12,100km) from North Carolina with a whopping 16 hour time difference. The Lord had different plans it seems. 
I applied to this position in Suva after a conversation I had with my roommate, Grace. I told her that I wasn’t sure where God was calling me next, though I was confident that he was leading me out of China. I didn’t know where to start applying.
Grace asked me, “Where would be the craziest place you could ever imagine teaching?”
I replied, “Fiji!” We laughed.
However, it got me thinking and I googled to see if there were any international schools in Fiji. I’m a little embarrassed to admit while I knew Fiji was made up of islands, I had no idea where in they were actually located in the world. 
Lo and behold, I found an international school that had an opening for not only a secondary English teacher, but more importantly a secondary theatre teacher (a personal priority for my next position). And so the conversation started in January 2020.

Next steps & Prayer Requests

I am in the process of applying for a visa. If any of you recall my visa process to China, you’ll remember how slow and complicated the process. I expect with a global pandemic still going on that this time around will take even longer. My official start date is January 19th, though the school administration and I agree that I will not make it by that date (especially considering that Fiji is requiring a mandatory two week, in-hotel quarantine upon arrival). Once arriving I will also have to find housing and accommodation as the school does not provide housing for its teachers (this is a change from my experience in China). Please pray for patience, understanding, and favor with those who will control and influence both my visa acceptance and departure.
Benji will not be going with me. I think it will be harder to leave him this time around then it was going to China because when I left for China the plan was to bring him later. However, I know it is the best decision for him (especially considering some health concerns he has).
Lastly, I ask for prayers that I be a blessing and representative of Christ to my new coworkers, students, and neighbors in Fiji (and of course the same for my time with my family in the USA for as long as I end up living with them prior to leaving).
The Lord is not finished with me yet. I am grateful to know that wherever I am for however long, I will be safe and secure in the center of His will. 
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Viti Levu Island, Fiji
23 Comments

Recapping My 2020

12/8/2020

3 Comments

 
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I have come to learn that I am a past-oriented person. The way that I face the future is by reflecting on my past experiences and emotions. This blog is part reflection, part practice in thankfulness, and part of my grieving process… so that I can walk forward stronger.

January

In January 2020, I complete a 30 Day Yoga Challenge titled “HOME” through Yoga with Adriene on YouTube. After the 2019 Christmas holiday (when Kelly came to visit me in China) our school commences for two weeks of classes before Lunar New Year holiday. On January 20, my roommate Grace, our friend Gloria, and I fly to Thailand for a planned two week holiday to visit Grace’s parents. There are whispers and rumors that a sickness has become an issue in western China. I think little of it. I meet an elephant. On January 29th, while still in Thailand, we receive news that our school decided to delay opening for two weeks due to virus outbreak in China. Classes are scheduled to resume online temporarily. Grace, Gloria, and I decide to extend our stay in Thailand for some fun and sunny weather. At the end of the month, after much deliberation and prayer through November and December, I send in my official resignation letter to ISQ.
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February

We are living in the village where Grace’s parents have agreed to take us in for an extended amount of time. The well runs out of water on more than one occasion and Thailand hits the start of dry season. School is delayed reopening for another two weeks. Grace, Gloria, and I are teaching online through Home-Based Learning from Mae Ai, Thailand. We adjust to the one hour time difference between Thailand and China while teaching. The news projects the virus is spreading and getting worse. I begin to have nightmares. I run 42km in 29 days. I begin applying for jobs and have interviews with schools in Fiji and Austria. On February 11-12, we travel to Chiangmai to renew my soon-to-expire tourist visa for another 30 days.
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March

School is delayed another four weeks. I make plans to return to China anyways as rumors spread that the Thai immigration office is turning away requests for renewed visas. I continue with job interviews in South Korea, England, Bolivia, and Fiji. I run 32km in 31 days. China closes its borders to all foreign countries. I cry a lot. After 55 days in Thailand, I decide that I will return to America to wait until I can return to China. I say what I think are temporary goodbyes to my roommate Grace and friend Gloria. I fly home with over 50 hours of travel time from Thailand to Atlanta, Georgia through Malaysia and Qatar. My friend Brittany picks me up in Atlanta and I feel strange. I am reunited with Benji and my family. I continue teaching online, but now with a twelve hour time difference. My classes run between 6:00 PM and 2:00 AM EST. All four Manning siblings unexpectedly end up back at home due to Coronavirus hitting the USA. At this time I am hopeful that I will get back to China before the end of the school year.
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April

I apply and audition for Sight & Sound Conservatory. I continue teaching online (resulting in poor sleep and many tears). Live classes, assemblies, parent/teacher conferences, and staff meetings take up hours of the day and night. I run 40km in 30 days. I begin meeting with a global counselor from Barnabas International. My brothers and I compete in Bradley James’s unofficial “Merlin” Quiz Night where we finish in the top ten of thousands of contestants. I am overwhelmed by the uncertainty of when I will get back to China and turn down all job offers from Fiji, South Korea, England, and Bolivia. I am still clinging to hope that I will get back to China before the end of the school year.
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May

I discover podcasts and begin listening to many in all my free time. I run 22 km in 30 days. It begins to dawn on me that I may not make it back to China before June, I choose to remain optimistic. I begin to video chat with friends who are still in China at 5:00 AM or midnight to talk them through packing up my apartment. It is a really difficult ordeal. I am still teaching online through the night. I attend the Odyssey Representative Meeting online… it is a very emotional encounter. I celebrate my 29th birthday with flowers and take-out from a Chinese Restaurant. I am still praying that I’ll get back to China before the end of the school year.
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June

I quit running due to stress and grief. In Qingdao, school resumes in person for those who are still in China. I am now teaching online to a class of students who are together without me. The borders do not reopen. Grades are due, goodbye videos made, final staff meetings and classes occupy more time. I watch the 2020 Graduation online. My friends finalize things being packed up at my house and classroom in China. I ball my eyes out through my “Exit Interview” with LDi. My items from China are shipped on June 17th. I think that I will never look at a teaching position again. I begin applying for local jobs.
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July

My counselor invites and encourages me to attend a debriefing conference in Oklahoma for expats and mission workers who have returned to America. I am blessed by sweet friends with the funds to pay to attend the conference. I complete my taxes. I have a follow-up conversation with the school in Fiji. They give me a 10 week extension to decide if I am interested in coming in 2021. I purchase a microphone and begin auditioning as an audiobook narrator on ACX. I apply to a local dog camp and boarding facility. I fly out to Tulsa, OK on July 27 for the Interlude Conference.
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August

I attend the Interlude Debriefing Conference in Tulsa, OK. The time is healthy, but hard. I meet wonderful kingdom workers from all over. I reconnect with friends from Senegal while in Oklahoma City. I decide to register for a masters class for the fall in order to get my teaching certificate renewed. I am hired as an audiobook narrator for a junior author from Florida (his novel follows the journey of four air force pilots after the attack on Pearl Harbor). I interview and get hired at a local dog camp and boarding facility. My brother Nick transfers universities and leaves home. My sister Kelly begins graduate school to become a Physician Assistant in Pennsylvania. My brother Timmy moves out before starting his senior year of undergrad. I am the only kid at home. We celebrate Benji’s sixth adoption day! I temporarily dye my hair purple because that’s how I’m coping, haha. I pitch a new podcast idea to Kelly, who agrees to join me as co-host.
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September

I reconnect with some friends from university. Kelly and I begin recording a new podcast titled “Not A Lady: A Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman Podcast”. The podcast discusses the famous 90s Western starring Jane Seymour. Kelly breaks down the medical practices in the show and I talk from a historical/literary perspective. I work full time at the dog camp and begin private pet-sitting jobs on the side.  I record, edit, and produce 50+ hours in order to complete the audiobook. On September 18, Not A Lady Podcast launches on over eight different podcast streaming services. Two months later on September 26, I pick up four suitcases from Black Mountain, North Carolina containing my items from China. I visit with some China friends nearby.
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October

I begin a recertification course online and continue working at the dog camp. Over a week after picking up items from China, I finally open them and go through them. I am thankful, but also heartbroken to find a number of sentimental and priceless items are missing/were lost. I am hired by a local pet sitting company. Not A Lady Podcast publishes five episodes. Benji and I dress up together for October 31 for the first time in three years.
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November

I complete the eight week recertification course with 100% average. Not A Lady Podcast reaches over 1,000 plays across eight episodes. I continue to work at the dog camp and pet sit on the side. I begin going through all the items I have had in storage for the past three years. Considering my anguish and the strain of getting my things from China/losing precious items, I decide I want to get rid of a lot. Kelly comes home for Thanksgiving as a surprise and our family spends the holiday together. I officially sign a three year contract with a new school beginning in January 2021.
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December

I begin the visa process for my new job. I turn in my two weeks’ notice at the dog camp. I will continue pet-sitting privately until my departure date. Our family is blessed to be able to spend our first Christmas in our home together in years. I write this blog because I find it hard to look to the future without processing the past.

Concluding Thoughts

The truth is that I (and everyone else) will likely be processing and grieving 2020 for the rest of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for the many unexpected blessings I experienced this year. I just find it hard to celebrate things like “I spent a whole year with my parents and Benji!” when I realize that it came at the cost of saying goodbye to friends, animals, and students in China. It’s just how my brain and emotions work. It is not right or wrong, it’s just me.
I’ve learned a lot about myself this year. Some good, some really bad, most of it just hard. I know everyone will have their own 2020 story. I’m still unsure about how to talk about mine. I haven’t written a blog in five months. I’ve found it extremely difficult to talk about myself and my emotions (especially when I consider the thought that no one wants to add my struggle to their own).
This blog—of writing out my year—is not the most poetic, profound, or pivotal thing I’ve ever written… but I think it has helped me through another step in my grieving process. A step in the right direction. At one point this year, I told my mom, “I have nothing to show for 2020.” But reading the above, I can see that is just not true. I have A LOT to show for 2020, some really beautiful and great surprises… and yes, many really emotional and difficult hurts and losses.
I do have a confession for you, though. When school ended in June 2020, I told my family that I wanted to quit teaching. I never wanted to be an educator ever again. After all that happened with administration in 2018-2019 and the cutting of the theatre program at ISQ in 2019, I felt rejected and unappreciated. Then, with teaching online in the Spring of 2020, I felt exhausted, overworked, and abandoned. Teaching online striped away everything I love about being a teacher (namely relationships and time with others).
I’ve been very lonely living in North Carolina with my parents. My family moved here after I had already moved out at 18, so I have no friends here (and it’s really hard to make friends amidst a pandemic, y’all). For the past nine months, I’ve seen maybe 20 people total outside my immediate family. I recognize that many people share this experience. All my lowest points in the last two years led to me want to be finished with teaching forever.
Yet, the Lord worked on my heart – as He always does. He gave me some hard physical labor at the dog camp and some sweet puppy loving to remind me how much I love teaching. I love my students. I love the opportunity to create. I love my passion for theatre as a tool to transform. I love my heart for Third Culture Kids and the ministry of the performing arts. I love every trial that the Lord walked with me through while in China. It drew me closer to Him and helped me know myself all the more.
In 2012, I was thrown off a horse in an accident that should have taken my life (read about the accident HERE). It took about seven months before I was able to get back on a horse (full "Wounded Series"). 2020 feels appallingly like the emotional equivalent of that accident. I’m ready and excited to mount up and use my gifts, talents, and passions to serve the Lord again. Thank you to those of you who prayed me through this year. And thank you for your patience and encouragement as I struggled to find my footing amidst the chaos of all that’s happened this year. The Lord is good and I remember that most of the time.
So, the final thing to do would be to announce where I’m going next. I put it in another blog, and you can read all about it HERE.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
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3 Comments

Therapist, Translator, Composer: Mason Bayne Releases "Lydian"

12/6/2020

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​It has been six years since I last sat down with musician Mason Bayne to discuss his debut instrumental album called Flight (Read our original interview HERE). Many things have changed since our first interview. In 2014, I recall how we—two full-time university students—sat down in the North Greenville University cafeteria to chat. In 2020, however, we find ourselves meeting over Skype with pets and family members moving around in the background of our conversation. Bayne is now happily married, living in upstate South Carolina, and working full-time composing music for advertisements, company projects, and films. During our time at North Greenville, Bayne and I bonded by sending each other our most “epic” scores and soundtracks back and forth on Facebook.
​That’s pretty much the basis of how we met. A mutual friend (Filmmaker, Andrew Bradford) introduced us with one sentence, “You guys both love film soundtracks and I think you’d enjoy talking about them together.” He wasn’t wrong then, and six years later, I find it still to be a ture statement. Bayne’s entertaining humor, atypical analogies, and acute insight about the world help him interpret and connect with music in a way I find both engaging and wise. Perhaps the most notable difference between our 2014 interview and this one is that in October of 2020, Mason released his instrumental fourth album titled Lydian.
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Mason Bayne
When I asked Bayne to describe his newest album his answer was “new 80’s synth, maybe?”.  I find this description wonderfully reflects the beautiful abstract painting that is Lydian. Bayne’s whimsicality is woven within the fabric of the album beginning with the title. Musicians and music aficionados may recognize the album’s title is a reference to a musical mode that features seven tones crafted out of a pattern of pitches that rise through a series of whole tones and semitones. Here’s the thing though, it’s okay if you don’t understand Lydian mode because Bayne doesn’t actually use it in this album. Some may find this hysterical, while others may feel slightly uncomfortable when considering this unconventional artistic choice.
Bayne describes the process of creating this album as being an opportunity for growth and change that was initially born out of the statement, “I can do better”. Through the process, however, Bayne confessed his motivation and purpose for Lydian changed. The album listeners hear now was built out of a place of new confidence (to which Bayne gives gracious and considerable credit to his wife Angelina). This album was completed from a space of choosing to no longer care about how other people will receive or hear the music, but instead taking risks and being true to his creative self. Sometimes risks don’t mean going big and over the top. Bayne argues that for him, risks sometimes meant scaling back his art. The songs in Lydian are intentionally minimal, not pandered to a need to be “epic” or recognizably conventional in its scoring. “The word epic. You and I used that word a lot in college to talk about the soundtracks we liked, but what does it even mean? Impactful music doesn’t have to be “epic” to say something to people,” Bayne concludes.
So, what did the process of creating Lydian involve? “I had a lot of opportunity to play with different musical toys,” Bayne explains of his off-the-wall approach to the album. If you listen closely enough, one track features Bayne’s first time singing on one of his own albums. Another distinct example of this experimentation is the track “Lullaby” which features Bayne’s wife singing a traditional Irish lullaby, that Bayne then broke down and crafted completely new. The finalized track features enchanting synth sounds with the female vocals echoing that of an ancient Greek siren.
A few of the tracks, such as “Riptide”, “Life After Death”, “Beacon”, and “09/19/08” were created for other projects. The latter three are featured in the documentary “My Brother Jordan” by filmmaker (another NGU graduate) Justin Robinson. As of December 2020, “My Brother Jordan” has been viewed over 11 million times on YouTube.
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I asked Bayne what it was like for him to work on songs for others as opposed to just for himself. “Commissions are 96% of my job,” He replied. “I’m more like a therapist and translator sometimes than a composer. Often what people say they need and what they really want are two very different things and it’s my job to read between the lines to find the real story seeking to be told.” Bayne admitted that there isn’t much room for insecurity when composing music for others, but he stated that some of his best education as a composer has been creating for projects like “My Brother Jordan”. “Working with others challenges me to serve and try different things. When you pick good dance partners the outcome can be pretty incredible,” he revealed. If the public response to “My Brother Jordan”—a stunning and very personal passion project filmed over eight years and involving hundreds of people—is anything to go by, I believe Bayne has uncovered a poignant truth about art, life, and humanity.
Throughout our discussion, I was struck by Bayne’s vision and hope for the impact of music. His vision was not one of external accomplishment, instead he continually focused on how the music he composes has helped him grow, connect, and find joy. His desire to create Lydian was born out of a longing to create something that was special to him and the things and people that he values most.
​In our interview in 2014, Bayne said, “I think that all Christians, when it comes to creating, should pursue after excellence in art. I don't see my work as excellent by any stretch, but I do my best to reflect the most creative being in all of existence.” Since then, Bayne has discovered that what is seen as excellent can never be based upon recognized uniqueness, public acclamation, or legendary greatness. Instead, excellence is found in our willingness to give fully of ourselves—often in the form of our gifts, passions, and talents—and to then let go of a need to prove something; whether that be to God, others, or most notably ourselves. These profound words of truth are ones I need to consider and cling to--especially in 2020.
​You can listen to all eleven tracks from Mason Bayne’s fourth album Lydian on Spotify, Apple Music - iTunes, and for free on YouTube. I cannot recommend this album enough, it moved me deeply. The emotions it draws out and paints are truly stunning and reminds me of the power of music to help each and every one of us write our own story. 
PictureMason Bayne, "Music Composer for filmmakers, production companies, non-profits, and etc. Creating music that empowers others to tell better stories with original music."
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No Goodbyes, Leaving CHINA

7/22/2020

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Recently, I read a post on social media where a person was lamenting the realization that at some unremarkable point in their childhood, their mother and father had put them down and never picked them up again. I contemplated this post as I walked Benji this afternoon. It is a sunny day and I found myself admiring the many tall trees standing in the backyard of my parents’ rental property. As I looked, I realized I could not remember the last time I had climbed a tree. I have vivid memories of climbing trees all throughout my childhood and into my adolescent years, but I cannot remember the last time I intentionally climbed a tree with no reason other than to sit in it.
I believe these two realizations are deeply connected. What is so devastating about these thoughts is that these precious memories – whether they be memories of being held by a parent or a tree - brought such comfort and joy to our young lives, and yet they ended abruptly without us even realizing it. There was no big “moment” to wave the experiences goodbye, no opportunity to process what that final event meant, and no time to lament their unexpected conclusions. These “happy norms” just ended and time kept going. We kept living not realizing they were over until long after the time to mourn them passed.
Leaving China feels a lot like that for me.
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The start of my 50+ hour flights from Thailand to U.S.A.
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Sleeping room in my nine hour layover in Qatar.

183 DAYS

​It’s been very difficult to write over 134 days since I returned to America. 183 days since I left China.
In the time since, I lived with friends in a rural village in Thailand, transitioned to teaching online school, flew over 50 hours from Thailand through Malaysia and Qatar before landing on US soil, after which I resumed teaching online full time with a 12 hour time difference. Zoom classes, grading, a million emails, virtual assemblies, web-linked staff meetings, digital goodbye parties, and live-streamed graduation ceremonies. I spent months working late into the evenings and sleeping until late mornings to try and feel rested. I struggled with sorrow, loneliness and jetlag. I felt thankful to have a place to stay and to be with my family, but also felt some horror to be back living with my parents after 11 years “on my own”. I didn’t want to write about my mourning or depressed emotions because I don’t want to seem like I am elevating my hardship above anyone else’s. In the world right now people are cut off from friends and family, employees are losing their jobs, businesses are forced into closing, young and old people are hurting and struggling through the unknown, and of course, people are dying. I recognize that my “issues” pale in comparison to many of these experiences of others.
So, I hope you’ll allow me to share my emotions and experiences during this time, but please recognize that I am not diminishing anyone else’s struggle by sharing my own. I know I have much to be thankful for, but I’d be lying if I said I was okay.
I  had my first job interview for a new position outside of Qingdao in December 2019. I felt that the Lord was telling me it was time for me to move somewhere else, when after meeting with school leadership it was determined that theatre and the performing arts were not a priority for the school at this time. As I have expressed before, this is a way I feel that the Lord has equipped and challenged me specially to minister to Third Culture Kids.  I understand the school leaderships reasons for not prioritizing (especially with what has happened since), but it remains a devastating blow.
From January to April 2020, I completed interviews and applications with organizations in countries that include USA, China, England, Austria, Bolivia, and Fiji. Nothing felt like the right fit… as my world fell deeper and deeper into chaos around me. It finally got to the point where I couldn’t teach online, process my experiences, pack up my apartment in China remotely (more on that in a bit), and be job-hunting at the same time and be healthy. I turned down multiple positions and decided to stop job searching for a time.
Another difficulty I experienced was living through the initial impact of COVID19 in Asia in January and February. When it was determined that I would return to America in March, I naively thought that if I had to go at the least I would be “escaping” the closures, quarantine, shutdowns, and unknown of the future in the U.S. As you all know when I arrived March, it was only a few days before COVID19’s influence reached critical in the US… it was like suffocating through the same nightmare twice.
Listen, I know I’m healthy. My family is safe and healthy and I HAVE SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR… but in the middle of all the confusion and unknown, the shock of the entire experience felt (still sometimes feels) completely overwhelming.
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China did a great job in-country and shutting down and getting “control” of the spread of COVID19. Social distancing and proper mask use helped numbers drop and normalize significantly in four months. So much so, that five out of six of the company’s schools (including mine in Qingdao) were able to resume on-campus, in-person learning before the end of the school year (June 12). Still, the borders remained closed, meaning I was teaching online while a good number of my students were together in school.
I will not even try to explain how difficult doing school that way was (there were many tears shed at 1:00 AM after Zoom classes). I still (naively) held out hope that I would be able to return to China and get to say goodbye to people (friends and students), food, places and things that had been my beloved HOME for my last three years of life.

NO GOODBYES

I NEED those goodbyes. I NEED that closure. From the whispered goodbyes to the full on sob sessions. How can I be expected to move on to the next thing without a proper farewell? Maybe some people don’t need those goodbyes, but I know that I really do. I feel like I’m functioning mentally and emotionally at a quarter capacity because my thoughts and emotions are overwhelmed with grief and loss. Sometimes that sorrow becomes panic and despair. It’s lonely. I feel like many people stateside either can’t empathize with what I’m feeling or they don’t want to understand.
The number of times I’ve heard people say, “I know you must be so glad you’re not in China right now.”
Or, “You should be grateful you got out of there. ”
Or “I’m really glad you decided not to go back.”
NO! Is what I want to scream back in their faces. I don’t, I just say nothing and cry.
On top of teaching full time online, I spent late nights or early mornings talking with friends in China as they literally went through my apartment room by room, item by item, boxing up, selling, and getting rid of things for me. Have any of you ever imagined what it would be like for someone to have to pack up your house without you there? Probably not, because who would think of such an insane thing. I need to tell you that when it comes to this, I really am so thankful for how the Lord provided.
A friend told me as she went through my clothing drawers, “I’m really thankful that you are clean and organized. That’s made this a lot easier for us.” Shout out to the incredible Sarah P., Sephora P., and Hannah K, who did so much to help Grace and I get our stuff out of our apartment. They didn’t have to do it, but volunteered and sacrificed wholeheartedly to make a terrible situation more breathable. For me, however, the actual process felt so uncomfortable. Having to decide what I wanted to keep or get rid of with someone else waiting to execute my decision. The height of my struggle was in watching people come to the house to buy things I decided not to keep. I watched through a video call as people bargained prices for the sheets on my bed, sheets still made-up from when I had slept that final night before Thailand.
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GOD IS HERE

I haven’t really mentioned God too much in this post this yet. He’s here. I have felt Him… even in the moments when I raged out my feelings to Him in prayer or journaling or in a phone call to a friend. God is good.
I don’t know why He is doing this (gestures to the world, but also my own personal experiences). I know God has me where He wants me right now (because I tried to get out). I know where He has me is not for my comfort or happiness, but instead it is to make me more holy and like Him. I don’t know what’s next for me yet. I have a lot of ideas and options, but it’s a difficult time to be job-hunting (especially internationally) or planning for a future in which there is no clarity on what the world will look like.
Thank you to those of you who read this whole thing, heard my struggle, but didn’t condemn me for these overflowing (some would say dramatic) emotions.
Thank you to those of you who prayed me safely back to the U.S.
Thank you to those of who gave financially to help me get on my feet after the unexpected expenses of leaving Asia.
Next week I will be attending a debriefing conference in Oklahoma for missionaries and Christian expats who have been serving abroad and find themselves returned to their passport country. I have been meeting weekly with a Christian councilor from Barnabas International (the organizers of this conference) and I pray this conference will continue the process of emotional, mental, and spiritual healing I am seeking with the Lord’s help.

HOW TO END THIS BLOG?

Most days, I have hope and assurance that nothing in this world is outside of the authority and power of God. I have confidence that wherever I end up next, it will be where God wants me to be.
Am I afraid of what obeying His calling will cost me?
Even more so now than the first time I think.
Am I still committed to doing it.
I am.

PRAYER REQUESTS

Dear reader, can you pray for me? And after you do, can you tell me that you prayed for me?
​Remind me that I am not alone in my walk with Christ.
Can I remind you that you aren’t alone either? Nothing is keeping God from watching over you or calling you through hardship to become more like the image of His Son.
  1. Interlude Conference in Oklahoma (healthy, safety, travel mercies, spiritual growth)
  2. I am looking for temporary work this summer/fall in order to financially support myself currently.  
  3. I need to take some Graduate courses this fall in order to keep my South Carolina teaching certification current (prayers for finances, timing, courses, etc).
  4. Long-term next steps (job)
  5. Relationships (family and friends)
  6. Continued health and safety
  7. Some of you will remember my first roommate in China, Noelle. Upon her return to the U.S. Noelle was discovered to have a brain tumor. She has undergone major surgery and is now going through chemo/radiation currently. Please be lifting her up (see more of her journey at https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/noellekane & https://www.noelleslifeabroad.com/)
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Trapped in THAILAND: Covid19

7/10/2020

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This blog was originally drafted in March 2020
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Teachers Online: Caffeine Required
If you read my most recent blog, you know that my roommate, friend, and I were on an 11 day holiday in Thailand for Lunar New Year when (what felt like overnight) the whole world turned on its head. We received word from our company informing us that all schools in China would not be allowing any student or staff on campus temporarily for the next two weeks due to the threat of the virus. Instead, every school in China would be taking up an online initiative known as HBL or Home Based Learning during the ‘short’ hiatus.
Those two weeks slowly turned into four weeks, which was forced to extend into six weeks and now, as I’m writing this, we have just received news that it is unlikely we will return to school until probably eight weeks from our initially scheduled return date (though at this point many people suspect it will be even longer). So, this is a blog reflecting on the past month of online school and my displacement in Thailand.
​First, I have to list all the things I’m thankful for in this crazy situation…

I am thankful for a place to stay

​My roommate’s family welcomed us for a short 11 day holiday and continued to welcome us when our little holiday turned into a full time almost 55 day residency (for me). I have a roof over my head, a warm bed, a nice bucket of water I can sometimes fill up for a shower, and access to a hot water kettle for all the tea and coffee needed to survive teaching online. I absolutely recognize I could have ended up in some hotel or trapped inside my own home in China. I am grateful every day for the hospitality and generosity of my roommate’s family.
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Mae Ai Mission Center

I am thankful for delicious food 

Grace’s mom’s cooking. There is nothing like working knowing that you don’t have to worry about meals. Plus, she’s feeding us some of the most delicious brain food ever. I don’t think we’ve eaten the same meal twice. Grace’s mom might be an angel.
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I am thankful for the internet

I am the queen of love/hate relationship with the internet, mostly because I realize how addicting technology can be. That being said, though the home we are staying in does not have WiFi (something I have actually come to love deeply because I NEED to unplug at night), it’s only a short trip to the office in order to get unblocked, free internet access (absolutely vital to running classes online).
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Teaching looks a little different this spring
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Early morning staff meetings on Zoom

I am thankful for Grace and Gloria

​Going through this situation, running classes online (when you were totally unprepared to do so), would be stressful for anyone. You know what would have made it more stressful? Doing it alone. I am so grateful to have Gloria and Grace beside me to bounce ideas off, to ask questions, brainstorm together, oh, and if we’re honest, whine and complain to someone who understands how challenging and impossible what we’re doing is sometimes.
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Grace, Gloria, and I celebrating watching the final episode of our group show "The Mentalist"

I am thankful for Thailand's weather

It’s 90 degrees every day and there is not a cloud in the sky. I’m running every day and I’ve got a sandal tan lines to die for. I will never complain about being ‘trapped’ in such a sunny, warm, beautiful place. 
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Morning run through Mae Ai
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On a walk through Chiang Rai

I am thankful for my health

I have been working out more in the past six weeks than I have in my entire life. Running over 5K, completing a 30 day yoga challenge, push-ups, ab workouts, you name it, I’ve been doing it in the name of getting out from behind the screen and finding some routine. It’s also a control thing. I can’t control anything in my life right now, except my body’s effort and the growth I see in my endurance and strength. Also, I may have totally called home to tell my family that for the first time I can see arm muscles that I never even knew I had. I am thankful to be growing fit and healthy during this time that seems full of nothing, but question marks.
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Selfie at the end of a morning run

 My Current State of Mind

It’s hard to explain what this situation has been like. At first, it was kind of fun and exciting. Wow! We get to stay in Thailand for another two weeks, it’s going to be so chill! Online school? How hard can it be?
​NEWS FLASH: It’s not chill and it’s really hard!
First, there was the homesickness. Homesickness is something I’ve boasted that I’ve never really felt. Instead, I find myself wide awake at night thinking about how much I miss my house and bed left behind in China. I worry about my plants with no one to take care of them.
Then, there’s the nightmares. Nightmares of returning to China and running out of water. Nightmares of food shortages or graphic, horrible dreams of my family members dying terrible deaths and I wake up crying in bed.
After that, comes the neck pain and backaches from sitting over a screen just typing and video chatting with students and planning and grading and making a video for tomorrow’s class which gets interrupted when you have to troubleshoot a students’ technology issue, all the while thinking to myself “When’s the last time I took a break or had a drink of water?” I try and connect with every kid through email and video chats, but I still feel totally alone and disconnected from my entire world.
Meanwhile, this little hiatus keeps getting longer and longer with casualties and impacts and threats seem to be growing larger and larger. By the way, can people please stop telling my mother all the horrible things they read about or saw on the news? Because my mom is going to worry enough without you telling her the newest conspiracy theory that we end up talking about every time I call home.
On top of all this… have I mentioned that I’m job hunting? Nothing to add more pressure and uncertainty than applying and interviewing for international positions amidst a global pandemic. This is a topic for another blog all together.
As the days went on, the isolation grew. I’m alone in a foreign country where I can’t speak the language. I’m staying with the most wonderful family… with whom I also can’t speak. The adventurous little experience is growing into an unending, unresolvable struggle. It’s week seven of not being in my own bed. It is week seven of only having two people who I can actually have a conversation with face to face.
Things aren’t getting easier and the “end” remains unknown. Meanwhile I’m only two weeks from having to renew my Thai tourist visa for the second time (I had 30 days and was able to extend for another 30 days)…Thailand may be closing it’s borders soon and we’ve heard the rumor that officials have been rejecting second visa extensions.
I know that I don’t stand alone during this time of chaotic uncertainty, while I recognize that I have a lot to be thankful for, I feel overwhelmed by my lack of control and the uncertainty of my coming days. I would like to be able to return to China, finish the year well, get the closure goodbyes I need to leave China well, and then head onto wherever the Lord would have me go next with confidence and thankfulness in my heart.
At this time I ask for continued safety, healthy, and energy and motivation to continue to be an encouragement and role model to my students.
​Blog completed/posted in July 2020
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One of my favorite views in Thailand
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Lunar New Year in THAILAND

3/1/2020

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Excited to be in Thailand together :)
My roommate Grace, friend Gloria and I made plans late in the Fall of 2018 to spend Lunar New Year 2020 with Grace’s family in Thailand. It’s been an unticked checkmark on my travel to do list since arriving in China. It seemed that the Lord knew I needed to meet and become close friends with Grace (whose parents have been missionaries in Thailand for close to 30 years) for Thailand to finally happen. I truly had no idea what would be in store for us on this trip, and you all know I’m not just saying that because Grace did all the trip planning, haha. Still, this particular blog is going to focus on the wonderful vacation the three of us had, before things really took a turn for the unplanned. This blog is about our 11 day Lunar New Year holiday in THAILAND.
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In the Qingdao Airport, excited for our trip!
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Trying to get a photo without Gloria knowing.

Departure from China, Arrival in Thailand

We flew from Qingdao Airport to Incheon Airport in South Korea and our first order of business was to hit up the fast food restaurant I find myself missing the most living abroad—Taco Bell. You might be surprised (or not) to find out that China doesn’t have a lot of Mexican style restaurants, much to my disappointment.
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Inside Incheon Airport thrilled to be having Taco Bell with a coworker who was headed to the Philippines.
We traveled first from South Korea to Bangkok, Thailand, where we stayed overnight with Grace’s ‘aunt’ (the missionary kind). The next day, we had breakfast in Thailand before flying up north to the city of Chiangmai. Here, Grace’s mom picked us up and welcomed us with fresh handmade Thai jasmine leis.
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The rest of our trip can be split up into about five big categories: Thai Markets, Thai Food, Thai Culture, and Thai Village Life.

THAI MARKETS

​During our time in Chiangmai, we were enjoyed visiting a variety of Thai markets. These markets included Warorot Market, Meecho Plaza Temporary Markets, Sunday Walking Street, the Chiangmai Night Bazaar, and Baan Kang Wat Arts and Crafts Market. The Thai markets each have their own feeling and charm. Sunday Walking Street and the Night Bazaar are two of the most well-known and popular, staying open late into the night. Vendors sell souvenirs, collectables, handmade [insert anything you can think of], clothing, bags, keep-sakes and more. The street food is delicious and fun to try.
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Two things that surprised me about the markets, was how many streets would be closed off on the weekends or for one evening simply to host hundreds of sellers and tradesmen.
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Another thing that surprised me was when we were at the Sunday Night Walking Street. An announcement was made and Grace told Gloria and me to freeze. I was taken aback with the busy street full of shuffling shoppers and loud, motivated sellers suddenly became still and quiet. Everyone turned to face one direction along the street as music suddenly blared across speakers set on every street corner. The vibrant market was frozen as the music played. When the song was over, the voices began to echo again and the shifting movement of crowds slithered down the streets again. Grace explained that they had played the national anthem. There is great pride in not simply for Thailand, but also reverent respect for the Thai Royal Family. Grace explained that even before watching a movie in theatres all the movie patrons are asked to stand as the King’s Song is played before every film.
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I discovered once again that I’m a poor barterer (especially when I cannot speak the language), but walking amidst the music, colors, smells, and feeling traditional roots of these many markets was not only fun, but a real cultural experience.
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THAI FOOD

Thai Hot Pot (MK), Mama Pad, Kuey Teow, Kuey Teow Tom Yum, Khao Man Gai, Khao Soi, Pad Thai, Bahmi Giew Moo Daeng, Niu Kao, and Rotti. These are just a few of the different food dishes I tried while in Thailand. Grace’s family is definitely a foodie family, so she were determined for us to try every traditional dish there was to offer in Thailand. I don’t know that I’ve ever eaten so well in my life.
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​Then there were the variety of fruits we tried, guava, mango, pineapple, watermelon, rose apple, strawberries, coconut, and papaya. It was hard not to be obsessed with the fresh fruit.
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Grace is obsessed with Thai Bubble Tea, served cold and sometimes with whipped cream on top, it is very different from the bubble tea I have become accustomed to in China.
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THAI CULTURE

Thai Massages and Thai Hot Springs

​Grace’s mom insisted that most Thai thing you can do in Thailand is get a Thai Massage and visit a Hot Springs bath. I wasn’t sure what to expect for either experience. The massage parlor was a little room above a shopping complex. We changed into loose fitting, almost pajama like capri pants and a button-up top. Then, for two hours these little old ladies find every sore muscle, tight knot, and aching ligament. It was very relaxing at most points, when they weren’t working in a spot where you’re thinking “OW!”. I’ve had more than my fair share of Chinese massages and I have to say that the Thai massage was far more relaxing and pleasant than the, you’re going to be sore for weeks because of how hard I’m going to work this trouble area attitude of Chinese massages. I must be a bit of a pain lover though because I keep going back.
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Grace and I in the hot springs gardens.
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Grace and her family have been visiting this hot springs for years.
Later, when we went to the hot spring I really had no idea what it was going to be like. Many, many Asian countries enjoy public bathing houses/parlors that Grace and Gloria have been going to since they were children. Public bathing… not really a Western thing. In fact, when we arrived at the front of the mineral springs bath house, Grace told me the receptionist said to her co-worker with shock, “A foreigner!” upon seeing me in line to go into the bath. Mineral hot springs have been identified in many cultures and countries as having great health benefits. That being said, my only context for ‘hot springs bath’ was visiting the ancient Roman Baths in Bath, England in 2015. You know, where there’s a giant pool with hundreds of people walking around naked? I know, I know, not the mental picture you wanted. It wasn’t the mental picture I wanted either, so I was a little nervous. Thankfully, this was not that. Instead, within the bath house there were many little rooms with a single bath inside. The mineral water is scalding, so you have two faucets one for the mineral water and one for cold water… basically to keep your flesh from burning off. You then can spend as long as you like in your little room with your bath. Do people walk around with no clothes on, you want to know? I mean yes, but not if you don’t leave your little room, haha. The minerals are said to be really helpful for all sorts of skin irritations and inflammations. I don’t think this will be on most people’s Thailand “Must Do” List, but Grace’s family has come to these baths for years. She assured me it was a, “very Thai experience.” Mind you, prior to going to the hot springs I’d been struggling with some severe itchy, dry skin (probably brought on by the dry Qingdao winter), but after the hot springs, the itchiness stopped. Could it be due to the Thai climate or a result of the bath in the mineral hot springs? Anyone’s guess, I suppose.
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This outdoor pool fills with boiling water from the hot springs and is used by guests to boil eggs!

​Buddhist Temples

I was unaware of the sheer number of shrines and temples I would find decorating every street and shop when coming to China. Every little store, no matter how small, has some sort of family shrine on display. Usually the little shrines are kept with small gifts of food or drink placed on or beside them. Even as we drove through the most remote mountain regions of Chiangmai province, if you squinted for a closer look into the surrounding mountains you would find giant statues of Buddha on display. The more gold in the temple, the more money people give, and the more likely your wishes and prayers are to be received.
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​Doi Suhthep

The most famous Buddhist temple in Chaingmai is known as Doi Suhthep. After being in Thailand for a only a few days and passing hundreds, I am not exaggerating, hundreds, of temples along the busy streets and narrow mountain roads, I asked if it was possible for us to visit one. I had never visited a proper Buddhist temple before and I wanted to see it, but also have the opportunity to lift up the lost people of the world, whose hope is in good words and gold statues to bring them peace, hope, and salvation.
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​We traveled up the mountain in the back of a Song Teuw, packed in tight with eight or nine other people. Not for the faint of heart-or motion-sick prone (me). I would like to say it was an enjoyable experience, but I’ll leave it as an experience. Song Teuws are the most used type of public transportation in Thailand. There are buses and taxis, but Song Teuws can get you there quicker and cheaper.
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Doi Suthep Quick Facts

Doi Suthep Info
"A Thai saying goes, 'If you haven't tasted Khao Soi or seen the view from Doi Suthep, you haven't been to Chiang Mai.'
The main reason many visitors come to Doi Suthep National Park is to visit Wat Phra That Doi Suthep, a venerable and venerated temple that is one of the most holy Buddhist sites in Thailand. Wat Phra That Doi Suthep is a major pilgrimage destination, especially during the Buddhist holidays of Makha Bucha and Visakha Bucha (February 13 and May 11, respectively).
This awe-inspiring temple is crowned by an elaborate Chedi (Monument), 24 meters (79 feet) tall and gold plated from top to bottom." [Travel Source]
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Buddha statue in front of Doi Suthep's famous golden stupa.
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Nagas are sacred water serpents which bring good luck as well as bridging the earth and sky.
​We climbed up over three hundred steps to get to the main temple. Women were asked to wear a skirt to cover their legs and everyone had to take their shoes off. It felt eerily to me. Statues of every size and shape covered in gems or gold. Incense being burned constantly. Money poured out over little golden money boxes. The larger statues were placed in rooms, surrounded by expensive décor, framed by large ivory tusks. The unexpected element was the temple dogs, who lay down and slept amidst the crowds of worshippers and tourists who came and went. Worshipers bring money, food, and flowers to bow before these statues and give out their requests. Some monks reclined in corners of the temple, observing and praying.
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"In Thai culture, the status of kings have been rated by the number of white elephants that were in their possession and they have been historically considered a symbol of the King’s majesty. Hence, the late King Bhumibol owned the greatest number of white elephants. He had 21 white elephants and this can be regarded as an unprecedented achievement. Eleven of these elephants are still alive but only five of them have royal titles." [Phuket News Source]
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Thanathon Tangerine Orchards

In the town of Fang, close to where Grace's parents work is Thanathon Orchards. This orchard is famous for being the location where oranges were farmed for the first time. The orchards now boast more than 10 orange hybrids. The grounds were really lovely and we had an amazing time walking around and seeing the many different fruit trees spread across acres and acres of green land. 
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Chiang Mai Umbrella Making Center

We spent a short afternoon at Bor Sang Village in Chiangmai visiting the umbrella making center. This is where thousands of paper umbrellas are handmade and designed. These umbrellas are an icon of Chiangmai. Visiting the center you can walk through and see each step of the umbrella making process, from the creation of the fine paper to the wooden frames that are designed one by one. Finally, the master painters created elaborate designs on the umbrellas that ensure each and every umbrella is 100% unique. 
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The center boasts not only full size "hand-painted umbrellas," but also "tiny cocktail umbrellas, large parasols for gardens or patios and other handmade products – all made from sa paper (produced from the bark of the mulberry tree) and, a more recent development, cotton. The design has also evolved, from the original floral patterns to depictions of Chiang Mai’s rural scenery and even abstract patterns" [Travel Source]
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THAI VILLAGE LIFE

​After a number of days spent in Chiangmai city, Grace’s mom drove us three hours north, toward the Myanmar/Burmese border to a little town called Mae Ai. Mae Ai is the town where Grace’s parents have worked as Korean missionaries for almost thirty years. 
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The Mae Ai Mission Center Church.
Thirty years. In two years I’ll have been alive for thirty years, so I really have no context to understand what thirty years of mission work in one place looks like. From my observations on this trip, staying with Grace’s family, thirty years of ministry looks like shopkeepers who know your order before you arrive. It looks like restaurant owners asking where your dad is every time you come to visit. For Grace, it looks like being away from Thailand for two years, but when you return the old men and women of the village get so excited over seeing how pretty you’ve become. Grace’s mother took us to visit a small village outside of Chiangrai (a neighboring province), you could only get to this village by walking across a narrow bridge over a huge river and as we’re crossing a girl on her motorbike almost jumps out of her seat because she recognized her. They hadn’t seen each other in a few years, but they knew each other.
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My favorite way to travel: truck-bed.
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Gloria and Grace preparing to head to the Burma/Myanmar border to visit a La-Hu village.
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Visiting a rural La-Hu village only accessible by walking bridge.
​I love that my family has served as missionaries in so many different locations: France, Cameroon, Senegal, Lancaster Country, PA to Waxhaw, North Carolina. It means we have people we know all over their world who we love to reconnect with, but it’s fascinating for me to see and interact with people’s whose whole world are built around one tiny little town.
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Grace’s family has been working with a Thai minority group called the La-Hu. A really cool connection between Grace and my missionary families is that the La-Hu Bible was translated in the early 2000s by Wycliffe Bible Translators. Grace’s father took Gloria, Grace and I to visit the Wycliffe branch in Thailand, called Wycliffe Thai Foundation. Grace’s parents run dorm facility for La-Hu students who want to get an education. Currently, their complex is home to over 40 middle and high school students from the surrounding villages.
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The La-Hu Bible translated in the early 2000s by Wycliffe Bible Translators (known in Thailand as the Wycliffe Thai Foundation).
Village life is just as slow and laidback as you would imagine it to be and I LOVED it (little did I know I would get to spend far more than four days living it, but that’s another blog). Who knew how much I would love bucket showers after morning runs along rice patty fields, below mango trees and around hillsides of pineapple plants (Did you know pineapples grow in the ground?! Why am I the only one that didn’t know this?).
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​Plus, every home has at least two or three dogs (most of them friendly) and the people here smile all the time (Did you know one of Thailand’s slogans is ‘Land of Smiles’? They’ve earned it).
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Look how horrified I am to be surrounded by puppies.
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The other end of my camera lens during the scene above (where I lose my mind over puppies and get cute photos).
​Grace’s mom cooked some of the most delicious Korean meals I’ve ever eaten with, get this, no oven, no microwave, no stove, and a sometimes empty well. This is village life. It’s sort of sad that I long to be a part of some grand theatre ministry, but am absolutely in love with life in quiet, rural agricultural villages. Just a reminder, I guess you can’t have it all.
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​This getaway, this quiet, peaceful rest found along the mountainous border of Burma and Thailand, living and watching Grace’s parents service with Thai and La-Hu people was really rejuvenating. I certainly didn’t want to leave when it came time to go from the little village, but I was able to be pulled away with that knowledge that I had the world’s largest mammal to meet!

ELEPHANT JUNGLE SANCTUATY

​Our trip was almost finished, but before we left I had one request, “Grace, I don’t have any requirements for what we do in Thailand. You can plan whatever you want. I just REALLY want to meet an elephant.” This was my one wish and I had repeated it over and over again to my roommate even two years before when we planned the trip in 2018. So, on Monday, January 27th we headed to spend the day with three families of Asian elephants at Elephant Jungle Sanctuary in Chaingmai! This is an adventure I will save for another blog (which I will link here when it is finished).
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THE UNEXPECTED DELAY

Throughout the time we were on this trip, there were murmurs, whispers, and many a message from my mom with information about the spread of the CoronaVirus in China. On January 29th, the day we were scheduled to fly to Bangkok in order to return to China, Grace, Gloria, and I received an email from our company/school that the government was mandating that no school in mainland China was permitted to open their doors while the threat of the virus was rising. The plan was to resume with school after two weeks of an online initiative we were calling HBL or Home Based Learning. We decided to extend our stay for about 12 days longer… and more on this unexpected turn of events will be another blog… detailing how our 11 day Thailand vacation turned into (currently) seven weeks displaced and working in Thailand.
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My First Speeding Ticket: A Redemption Story

2/15/2020

6 Comments

 
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​This is the story of my first speeding ticket. My first and ONLY speeding ticket I should add, before anyone goes thinking I’m a bad driver. I mean, I might have been a bad driver then, but don’t believe anything my brothers tell you. I’m much better now. Seriously!
​Anyways, in between my sophomore and junior year of university, I spent my summer working at a Christian girls camp in Black Mountain, North Carolina. My summer days were celebrated outside in the warm, Carolina sun, teaching hunt seat riding lessons to campers ages five through sixteen and eating far more baked oatmeal that is good for any one person. It was a wonderful summer, but I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that it was one of the hardest summers of my life. But this isn’t a story about my camp experience; we’ll have to save that story for another time. This is a story about a speeding ticket and how it helped me discover the true meaning of the word redemption.
​Camp ran late into August and my last day at camp was literally two days before my fall semester of 2012 was scheduled to begin. This fact left me a little stressed towards the end of the season. It struck me at the end that I had to go to my parents, rest and recuperate from a long sweaty summer, pack and prep to return to university, and then rush off to start my junior year in the course of less than 48 hours! The horror! 
​After an exhausting summer of dramatic ups and downs, high emotions and spiritual discovery, I found myself shuffling through the final day of camp overwhelmed with saying goodbyes to people and preparing myself for the chaos of the next two days. I shoved everything I had with me into the back of my car, hugged my friends, and started my two hour drive to my parents’ home in Charlotte, North Carolina. Camp had thrown a “Goodbye Party” on the last night and I found myself leaving for the journey around 9PM. 
​As I drove through the empty, mountain roads under the cover of night, I found myself desperate to get to my parents as soon as possible. I was beginning to panic as my to-do list overflowed through my silent drive. So, I began speeding. I was doing over 75 miles per hour on windy mountain roads with a speed limit of 55. It was harmless, I told myself. No one was on these roads on a weeknight and I really didn’t want to be out driving so late. I was probably 45 minutes into my race through the zigzagging mountains when I heard a “WHOOP, WHOOP!” and saw glaring neon blue lights spiraling in my rearview mirror. 
OH. LORD. NO, I begged in my mind. This had never happened before. This can’t be happening! What am I going to do? What are my parents going to say?
I jumped on the brakes and pulled over to the shoulder. The road was empty and the night sky painted the cliffsides pitch black. I remember staring at the corroded silver guardrail in the light of my headlights, shaking. My heart was thrumming in my chest at an unsteady beat. My hands were fumbling for my registration papers in the cluttered passenger’s side glove compartment. Suddenly, the golden beam of a flashlight shone in my window. I couldn’t see the policeman’s face, but I rolled my window down a little bit, voice shaking, and muttered a shuddery, “Hello.”
I honestly don’t remember what the officer said. I do remember that after talking with him for a few seconds, I found myself sobbing explaining how I had two hours to drive home and I’d been at camp all summer and I was really tired and emotional, how I’d never been pulled over before and I really just was trying to get home as soon as possible. 
[Public service announcement: If you’re ever pulled over by a policeman for speeding… don’t cry. There’s a 10 out of 10 chance they’ll just give you the ticket if you cry.]
​The officer took my information and went back to his cruiser. I sat hiccupping through tears in my car. I was horrified. I was embarrassed. I was so angry at myself because I knew I had been speeding intentionally and it was all my fault. I was getting exactly what I deserved. I knew better than this.
The officer returned and calmly informed me that, since I had a good record and it was my first time, he wouldn’t mark my speed at the full 75+ miles per hour I had been going (a speed that would have lost me my license right then and there). Instead he would mark the speed as a lesser, more reasonable speed, giving me a fine and three points on my Drivers’ license. 
He mentioned to me, “If you go to court, you can likely get the points removed and just pay the fine. Please drive safe.” 
A broken and tearful, “Yes, sir,” was choked out before I s l o w l y eased my car back onto the road. That drive remains probably the slowest, most careful drive I ever made in my life. You can imagine how I stewed for almost two hours, contemplating the consequences I must face over these truly deserving, but horrifying charges I had received. I wondered over and over, “What am I going to do?”
I made it home and went to bed. In the morning, I broke the unbelievable news to my parents. I had prepared myself to face their ire with a conclusive plan of what I was going to do about the ticket. 
“I’m going to go to court,” I announced to my mother at the breakfast table.
“Why?” My mother frowned at me. “You were speeding; you’re guilty,” she reminded me.
“I have to do it, Mom,” a fervent need to be understood overwhelmed my explanation. “I need to feel what it’s like.”
“What what’s like?” Mother questioned with annoyed incredulity.
“What it’s like to be in court… and be told I’m guilty,” I explained. The conversation ended shortly after as my mother threw her hands up in the air, likely wondering how she ended up with such a stubborn, confusing daughter. 
Here’s the thing, I had this ‘vision’ of sorts about what my day in court would be like. 
I walk into a large wood-paneled room. Strangers sit on all sides of the audience area watching me with suspicious eyes as I approach the discerning and noble judge seated at the front of the room. The judge peers down on me with a boredom of contempt and doubtful disapproval. The Bailiff in his crisp uniform stands to the side of the judge eyeing me with stoic poise, awaiting his orders. When I am standing in front of the judge, feeling the eyes of a hundred people pulsing into the back of my head, I breathe deeply as the charges are shared, echoing through the weighted air around us. The judge looks down at my from that high perch and slams the gavel down. Once. Twice. Three times. The room freezes as the judge speaks directly to me.
“You have been found guilty of these charges. How do you plead?” The voice punches across the empty space into my shaking body.
I take a breath and speak, “I plead guilty, your Honor.” The room alights with gasps. I know what will happen next: I will be charged. 
Yet, in this imaginary situation I create another scenario. In this first ‘real’ court room scene, I go into the room guilty and I will be forced to walk out of the room guilty. However, I think to myself that, as I exit that room I will imagine—yes, almost a dream within a dream—I imagine what it would have felt like if, at that moment, a man came rushing into the room, threw open the doors at the back of the audience, and cries out to the judge from the doorway. 
“I will accept the charges pressed upon this woman! I will take her guilt!” the man calls out. The man would be Jesus Christ. 
​I wanted to go to court, so that I could experience guilt and condemnation in its most elevated setting. Then, in that moment, I wanted to be able to imagine how it would feel to have my guilt taken away by someone else. Not just anyone, but instead by the Son of God. I wanted to imagine what it would be like to be redeemed. I wanted to imagine in real time what it would feel like to be cleared of my debts, not because I deserved it, but simply because someone cared about me too much to let me remain guilty. 
Reading through this ‘vision’ now makes me seem a little bit like a crazy person, but I was confident in my reasons. I went to court almost two months after being pulled over… and it was nothing like what I had imagined. I stood in line in a tiny room scattered with a few individuals. There were no dramatic entrances. There was no judge sitting behind a throne-like desk. The line ended at a tiny white desk sitting in the corner of the empty room. There were no formal instructions or presentations. Just a short conversation where the clerk asked my name and the date of my ticketing. After a brief exchange, a paper was handed over for me to sign before I was swiftly directed out of the room to another woman behind another little desk who instructed me to pay my $280 cash fine. 
The whole experience was over in less than fifteen minutes. There was no thrilling or heart pounding exchange of guilt, no grand moments of decision, no attentive crowd listening to every word spoken. As I walked away, I realized I hadn’t even been given the option to contest or confirm my own guilt. The whole experience was rather anticlimactic. 
As I drove home that day, I took a great amount of time to think about my ideas of condemnation versus redemption. The result was the determination of the following statements. 
Redemption is not something I can earn.
  • Nothing I do makes me “good enough” to be redeemed.
Romans 3:10
"As it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one."
Condemnation is not the end
  • Life doesn’t stop simply because I am found guilty.
Romans 8:1
​"Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
I do not have the ability to redeem myself.
  • There are three parties in redemption. The one who presents the charges, the one who bears the guilt, and the one who is the redeemer.
Ephesians 2:8
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God."
Accepting redemption is a surrendering of guilt.
  • If I am redeemed, I cannot be enslaved to my past failures any longer. ​
2 Corinthians 7:9-11
"As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us.
For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment!"
I may have not gotten the dramatic day in court I imagined, but my speeding ticket provided me with some tangible perspective into the basis of my Christian faith.
  • Redemption is not just something for a coupon day at the grocery store.
  • Redemption is not that public service announcement that explains or apologizes away some public offense.
  • Redemption is a very powerful, very real, foundational, transformational, life-altering truth about why I need Jesus. Why I believe the world needs Jesus.
  • Redemption is a relinquishing of burdens.
  • Redemption is the abandonment of guilt.
  • Redemption is freedom from shame and guilt. 
I don’t need to wait around for moments to ‘imagine’ what my redemption would feel like. It is finished. Jesus already marched into the grandest courtroom in all the world, stood between a loving, but just judge, and a hateful, accusatory prosecutor and surrendered himself as the price for all MY sin, guilt and shame. 
I’m not waiting for my redemption. I have it. Now, I’m consistently working to live a life that reflects and emulates a girl who has long been the redeemed prize of a compassionate and loving Prince…speeding ticket and all.
​Romans 5:8
"but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
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CHINA Year 3: Christmas in Qingdao

2/7/2020

8 Comments

 
Co-written by Kelly Manning
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KELLY COMES TO CHINA

Sarah here! Many of you are aware that Christmas 2019 was the first Christmas I didn’t travel to the USA to be with my family for the holidays. I made this decision for three reasons. The first reason was that financially, after being in the USA for a few weeks this summer, it was going to be very difficult for me to travel back to the USA. The second reason is that my last two Christmas’ have not been very restful, lots of travel to see friends and family over the course of a short, jet-lagged 11 or 12 days. Lastly, I needed to make a decision in regards to whether or not I would sign another contract teaching in China… and I knew if I went back to the USA, I would certainly choose to leave.
​I wanted my decision to be based on prayer and supplication alone (not on how much I miss my dog – I mean, my family *wink wink*). Though my family was disappointed with my decision to be away from them this Christmas, I was excited because the timing worked out that my sister Kelly was able to come visit for a little under two weeks. 
Not only did she make plans to visit China, but she’s here to help me blog about our time together! Kelly? Want to chime in?
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KELLY: Okay, so I am pretty nervous about contributing to this blog. Mostly because I am in no way, shape, or form a comparable writer to my sister! But, I am here to contribute my thoughts and experiences about a trip that was an absolute blast!
SARAH: Oh wow, do go on… haha. But don’t feel nervous, Kel. After all, I was an English major… I would hope that would give me an advantage in the writing department. Shall we start?
​KELLY: Sure!
SARAH: So, Kelly arrived in the middle of our last week of school before Christmas holiday. This means everything from farewell parties (to students and staff who won’t be returning after Christmas break), to large group movie viewing (ISQ Middle School watched “The Santa Clause” - many students seeing it for the first time! Does that make me old?), and of course ISQ’s Annual 12 Days of Christmas Sing-a-long!
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KELLY: It was really cool getting to visit Sarah’s school and see her in action with her students. 
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S: I didn’t really tell you much about the 12 Days of Christmas, did I?
K: No, you didn’t.  
S: I wanted it to be a surprise!
K: You should tell everybody else what it is.
S: Right! Well, it’s an annual House Competition. Our school has four houses that all staff and students are assigned to. The Houses include Morrison, Taylor, Goforth, and Liddell (can you spot the theme?). The 12 Days of Christmas is one of our only ALL SCHOOL events. The houses sing through the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas” together and compete for House Points. House Points can be awarded for “Best Singing”, “Loudest House”, and “Overall House Spirit”. It’s super fun… and this year I got to be MC for the event! I tried to convince Kelly to lead with me, but she would have none of it.
K: Sar, you did a great job on your own. I’m not one for public embarrassment exactly...
S: Public embarrassment! What are you talking about?
K: You all should see the video. She’s insane. Let’s move on.
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S: Great idea. So, school ended and you and I took a 3 hour train bullet train to Beijing. 
K: We did. I had told Sarah early on in our planning that it wasn’t absolutely necessary for us to go to Beijing. I really did intend for this trip to be an opportunity to see Qingdao and spend the holidays with my sister.
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S: But my thought was, how can you come all the way to China and not see The Great Wall? So, we ended up traveling to Beijing and meeting up with my friend Abi and her sister who was also visiting from the USA.
(Some of you will remember Abi from our trip to New Zealand in 2018. Read my Blog Series about New Zealand HERE.)
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K: I am really glad we went to Beijing! It was extremely fun to be with not only Sarah, but also Abi and Hannah. I can’t imagine missing out on The Great Wall. I knew it was going to be spectacular, but I underestimated the pure beauty of being in the snowy mountains of China!
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S: Yeah, that was really special for me, too. I didn’t expect there to be snow on our visit to the Great Wall. It was SO COLD, though. I could’ve lived without that, haha. 
​K: The snow made it worth it. 
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S: While in Beijing we also traveled to The Summer Palace (this was my second time [Read HERE], but it looks different in winter), The Temple of Heaven, Tiananmen Square, and some really awesome shopping streets and markets! Any thoughts on those places, Kel?
K: We really got to see and do so much! I couldn’t get over the pure enormity of the palaces and temples! I also really enjoyed our AirBnB and being able to take the subway everywhere. 
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S: I can see it in your face… you want to talk about the food.
K: I really do!
S: Go for it. It’s one of my favorite things about living in China. 
K: The FOOD. I’ve read and heard a lot from Sarah about the amazing food in China.
S: Read a previous blog I wrote about the food HERE.
K: It was a whole other experience to have the privilege of actually eating some of the awesome dishes China has to offer. Sarah did a great job of having me try a variety of things. Some of my personal favorites were jiaozi 饺子 (any and all forms of dumplings), Korean kimbap, REAL Bubble Tea (we literally drank so much), and Korean rice cake and dumpling soup. Since being back in the States, the Asian grocery store and I have become much better friends, haha!
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S: Dude, I’m so glad you liked all the food. How was it being away from mom and dad for the holidays for the first time?
K: It was definitely different not getting to be all together. But, I think you and I have a very unique relationship. I think a lot of that has to do with our five year age gap and the reality that we haven’t lived in the same place for over ten years. 
S: Is this you telling me I’m old?
K: Well, you are. Just kidding. No, I’m saying that I was really glad to have made this trip to spend time with you. I think we both expected to be very sad about being away from Mom, Dad, and the boys during Christmas.
S: And BENJI.
K: Of course! Everyone loves Benji the most. While it was difficult not being able to be all together, it was actually okay. I can’t imagine what it would have been like if I had been without Sarah. Everything about it was different, but we had such a wonderful time and I can’t say that enough. 
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​S: Plus, we got to spend Christmas day with my favorite China family! The Peeks! They fed us SO well and we played lots of great games. I mean the two girls, two boys thing had us feeling right at home!
K: Yeah, it was really fun. 
S: And we kept our family tradition of watching Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” on Christmas Eve! Plus, we called our parents and extended family multiple times to stay connected. It sure it nice to live in this day and age. Technology makes it really convenient (most of the time).
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S: When we returned to Qingdao, we got to do some more fun stuff. We walked to the Olympic Sailing Center, visited the May Fourth Square Statue, toured the Tsingdao Beer Museum, and discovered the ShiLaoRen Beach and Sculpture Park. Tell the readers what you thought about those places!
K: Qingdao is such a neat place! You look in one direction and you have numerous skyscrapers. However, in the other direction are jagged mountains and an endless ocean. I love that it’s all right there! I also really enjoyed experiencing May Fourth Square at night because the statue and buildings were all lit up. Sarah knew so much about every place we went to, which made me feel like more than just a tourist.
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S: You’re doing great, Kelly! Now’s the tricky part… how to end the blog. It’s the part that I always find myself spending the longest time thinking about. Today, I’m assigning the closing thoughts to you! What are your final thoughts or reflections on your trip here?
K: China has always felt forever away. Let me tell you guys… getting to SEE and BE a part of Sarah’s life in Qingdao made it feel closer than ever. I got to play UNO with her students. I watched her lead a school wide event with all the goofiness and fun only she could bring. I ate dinner with her coworkers and spent Christmas with her friends. I stayed in her apartment and took the bus that she rides to school every single day. I went to the movies with her and watched the new “Star Wars” movie with Chinese subtitles while drinking bubble tea. 
S: That IS a sign of true sisterly love. 
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K: Actually yes, because I’m not really into "Star Wars" that much haha. But, you said you wouldn’t interrupt!
S: Oops, sorry!
KELLY: I ate at Sarah’s favorite places and laughed with her friends. I loved walking along the beach by her house, the one that she’s told me about numerous times. Maybe it’s silly, but these are the things that made this trip for me. 

Was seeing The Great Wall amazing? Of course!
Was taking a bullet train across the Chinese countryside unbelievable? YES.
Was experiencing the culture and being surrounded by the language a growing experience for me? ABSOLUTELY!
 
But I would choose walking across the street to buy handmade dumplings with my sister any day. I would choose laughing with her about strangers shouting “I LOVE YOU” in broken English at us on a crowded subway. I would choose watching her barter in Chinese in the center of an authentic Chinese antique market to get me something. I would choose all the things that made me recognize she is more brave, fun, dedicated, and resilient than I ever would have imagined.
 
The one thing I heard a lot of while I was in Qingdao was how blessed and lucky they are to have her there. I am very blessed and grateful that I was able to witness it. 
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​SARAH: Okay, now I have to talk because that was too nice to just leave be. Thanks, Kel. I know we have our differences, but I love you lots. I’m really grateful to have spent this Christmas with you. I’m thankful that whatever paths the Father leads us both on as we go from here, we have this special time in China together!
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